The Choice
by kogus2006
Summary: My first CSI: Miami story. What happens to Speed after he dies. I had intended for this to be a one shot, but I got so many requests to keep going that I decided to run with it. So please leave review. I want to do justice to our hero.
1. Speed's Choice

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from CSI: Miami. I do retain all rights to the story itself.**

**A/N: I make no claims to any special religious knowledge. I believe what I believe, and respect the beliefs of others. All I ask is that if you don't believe, or believe differently, please don't flame me for mine.**

* * *

"**I can't…feel anything…"**

"**I know, Speed. It's gonna be alright."**

**Spasms wracked the young man's body; a cough erupted blood from his bullet damaged lungs, spattering the front of the elder man's face and shirt.**

"**Speed…keep breathing."**

**A final spasm; a final breath. **

"**Speed?"**

**All movement stops; the light of life flees from his eyes.**

"**Speed?!"**

**The body goes limp; his head lolls lifelessly in the elder man's hands. **

**He stares into the now vacant eyes, desperately searching for any spark of life; finding none, he places his ear to the gaping wound in the young man's chest. Silently his soul prays for a heartbeat, though his mind already knows he won't find one.**

**Slowly he raises his head. Blood smears the side of his face. His friend is gone.**

"**Speed." he says quietly, a last weak call to his friend.**

**Then he just sits there, silently keeping watch over his friend until the others come. **

**He would let nothing else harm him now.**

* * *

**Speed watched as Horatio sat guarding his body, wondering what thoughts were going through his mind**

**He had tried to speak to him when he had first found himself standing here, but Horatio could neither see nor hear him it seemed. So he just stood still, watching his boss watch over him.**

**He saw his friends arrive; saw the shocked disbelief in Calliegh's eyes; heard the small gasp Alexx made when she saw his body lying in a pool of his own blood; watched as she slowly crossed the floor to kneel at H's side, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. **

"**Give him to me, Horatio. He needs to go with me."**

**He watched as Horatio nodded, then picked up his gun and rose to his feet. He watched as H and Calliegh spoke about his weapon; watched as Rick entered; watched as H's anger rose; watched as he stormed out of the door.**

**He was about to follow when a quiet voice spoke to him from behind.**

"**Timothy Speedle."**

**He turned, the world around him dissolved into a white light, and he found himself staring at…himself.**

**After a moment, Speed found his voice. "Well, the afterlife is certainly stranger than I thought it would be."**

**The other 'him' chuckled. "You're not the first to say that."**

"**Who are you? I mean, you look like me, but…I'm still me, right?"**

**Another chuckle. "Yes, Timothy. You are still you. As to my identity…who do you believe I am?"**

**Speed hesitated a moment before answering.**

"**Are you…God?"**

**His double nodded. "Some call me by that name. I have had many."**

"**Ok, if you're God, then why do you look like me?"**

"**I have only one voice, but many faces. When a man looks upon me, he sees the reflection of the good within himself."**

**Speed thought about it for a few seconds. "You mean that everyone who sees you, sees themselves?"**

**The figure nodded. "I created man in my image, and every man receives a portion of my spirit when he is born. For without it, there is no life."**

"**Sorry. All this religious stuff is a little above my head." He glanced about. "So is this Heaven?"**

**Now the figure laughed openly. "No, Timothy. This is the nexus between the planes. This is the place of choosing."**

"**Choosing? I don't understand. Choosing what?"**

"**Direction. This is where you choose your path from now on."**

**Speed shook his head. "Sorry, I still don't get it. What paths do I get to choose from?"**

"**Forward or backward."**

"**Backward? You mean I can go back? Be alive again?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Wait a minute. That seems to easy. What's the catch?"**

"**If you choose to go back, it will be painful. The bullet pierced your heart and lung, and nicked your spinal cord on it's way out. You will live…but with a weak heart, one lung, and you will never walk again."**

**Speed thought about it for a moment. "Why me? I mean, you can't give everyone this choice, or there would be countless cases of people coming back to life."**

"**True. The choice is rarely given. But it is always given to those who give their lives attempting to save another's. You were killed while trying to find Joey Williams. You gave your life for an innocent."**

"**So I can exist here in perfect health, or I can go back and be a pain wracked, useless invalid for the rest of my life? Some choice."**

**His double smiled. "One of the great lessons of life, Timothy, is that man must learn to accept the consequences of his actions. Had you been, shall we say, a bit more diligent in your gun maintenance, we would not be speaking just now. However, simply because you won't be able to do some of the things you used to, does not mean that you will be a 'pain wracked, useless invalid'. You will still have your intellect, your skills. You will only be 'useless' if you choose to be."**

**His double laid his hand on Speed's shoulder. "Do not doubt your own worth, Timothy Speedle. Your family and friends do not, nor do I."**

**The span of a dozen heartbeats passed before Speed could reply. "How will I…recover? On the mortuary slab?"**

**The figure turned and walked a few steps before speaking again.**

"**No. You will awaken while on route. Alexx will hear you and rush you to the nearest emergency room where the doctors will save you. It will be called a miracle by some. Others will say you were simply to stubborn to die."**

**Speed smiled at the thought of seeing his friends again, but another question nagged at his brain.**

"**What happens if I decide not to go back?"**

"**Then you will go to your final reward. You will become one of my 'guardian angels' as many call them, keeping watch over those whom you loved most."**

"**My family, or my friends at the department?"**

"**Both if you wish."**

"**Will I ever be able to speak to them?"**

**He shrugged. "Perhaps, if he circumstances warrant it. Anything is possible."**

**Speed nodded. "Yeah. I think I'd like that. Ok, I choose forward."**

**His double nodded, smiling. "As do most to whom the choice is given. Very few choose to go back. Follow me." **

**He turned and they began walking; the whiteness around them giving way to the Gates of Paradise, and a huge shining city on a hill before them.**

**Speed gazed around himself in wonder. "Wow, this is one big place." he said to his traveling companion. "Can I ask you a question?"**

"**Of course. What do you wish to know?"**

"**Are there any motorcycles in Heaven?"**

**His double's laughter floated along on the gentle breeze. **


	2. The Guide

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from CSI: Miami. I do retain all rights to the story itself.**

**A/N: I make no claims to any special religious knowledge. I believe what I believe, and respect the beliefs of others. All I ask is that if you don't believe, or believe differently, please don't flame me for mine. **

**--**

**Speed had finally gotten the routines of being a guardian angel down, when Marisol had come and told him the news: Eric, her brother and Speed's best friend, had been shot.**

**Without a second thought, Speed hurried to go see Gabriel, chief Archangel of the messengers of Heaven.**

"**Hi Gabriel, I guess you heard about Delko, huh?"**

"**Yes, I did." he replied, as he filled a glass of wine, offering one to his guest. "I assume Marisol told you?"**

**Speed nodded. "She also said that you refused to let her go guide him here. Is that true?"**

"**It is."**

"**Why? He's done more to merit Heaven than I ever did."**

**Gabriel held up his hand to forestall the coming arguments.**

"**I agree, he does indeed merit Heaven. But that is not the point." He drained the remainder from his cup and placed it back on his desk before continuing. "The simple fact is, it's not yet his time. His spirit has…wandered…from his body and must soon go back. He still has tasks to perform on Earth."**

**A look of confusion passed over Speed's face. "So why can't you let Marisol be the one to take him back home?"**

**Gabriel stared out the window for a few moments before answering, giving the impression that he was trying to find a way to say something he didn't really want to say.**

"**Because Timothy, Marisol is the reason his spirit has wandered this far."**

"**I don't understand."**

**The Archangel sighed. "Your friend's spirit believes that he is dead, and his deeply held faith that he will be reunited with his sister, is what is holding him in limbo while he searches for her."**

**The light went on in Speed's head. "So you're saying that if she goes to him, he won't want to go back?"**

"**Correct. He will wish to stay, and will resist being sent back. That kind of stress can be hazardous to the soul. If he resists to harshly, he may rend the silver cord which ties his soul to his body prematurely. If that happens he will become a 'lost soul', forced to wander through limbo until Judgment Day."**

"**Can't you offer him the choice, like I was? I know him, he'll make the right decision."**

"**No. As I said, it is not yet his time. He must go back, and the longer he delays, the harder going back will be. Already his brain is beginning to suffer from lack of oxygen. If he does not go back soon…"**

"**Then let me go to him."**

**Gabriel's eyes met his. "I'm not certain that's the best idea either. You and he were very close in life. As close as brothers, in fact. Seeing you may not be that much different from seeing Marisol."**

"**Oh come on, man. Let me do this. His time is running out, and like I said, I know Eric. I'll get him to go back." Speed replied, not backing down.**

**Gabriel's gaze never wavered, and Speed felt as if the Archangel was staring straight into his soul.**

"**Alright." he said after a minute. "Go to him, but when you take him back, wipe his memory of this encounter. It will help him adjust better when he returns to his mortal life if he believes that he didn't go anywhere. Understand?"**

**Speed nodded. "Got it. Wipe everything after the shooting." **

**He turned to leave, but as he reached the door he stopped and looked back at Gabriel.**

"**Thank you."**

"**For what?"**

"**Believing in me."**

**Gabriel smiled. "Thank you, Timothy, for finally believing in yourself."**

**--**

**Eric looked wildly about himself, but could see nothing but whiteness everywhere. He felt dizzy; there was no horizon to mark distance against; a complete whiteout of his sight. He shut his eyes, and took several deep breaths to help calm his overwhelmed senses, as his reason fought his fear for control of his mind.**

"**Hi Eric."**

**His eyes popped open; at the speed of light the nerve endings sent the image they took in to his mind; his mind processed the electrical impulses into a familiar pattern, one he hadn't seen in nearly two and a half years; but it took him a moment before his mind could come to grips with the memories that threatened to overwhelm him again. **

"**Speedle?" he half whispered in surprise.**

"**Yeah, Eric. It's me."**

"**But you're dead."**

"**So are you, at least for the moment. You got shot, remember?"**

**Eric forced himself to think, to draw the elusive memories forth. **

**Images began to form in his mind: Horatio running towards him, half-dragging him to safety behind a car; bullets whizzing overhead, ricocheting off the cars and ground around them; H shooting the sniper, then turning back to him, "Eric?"; his own response, "I'm gonna be fine."; the sound of one last gunshot, then nothing. Just the whiteness of here.**

"**Uhh, yeah. I remember some of it. What do you mean, I'm dead at least for the moment?"**

"**You have to go back, Eric. It's not your time yet."**

"**How do you know that? Maybe it is my time. If it wasn't I wouldn't be in Heaven now would I?"**

"**Look around you Eric. Does this look like Heaven to you?"**

"**It certainly doesn't look like Hell. So where am I? Purgatory?"**

**Speed shook his head. "More like limbo. This is essentially the 'waiting room'."**

"**Waiting room? What am I waiting for?"**

"**Your guide. Someone to help you make the transition."**

**Eric smiled broadly. "So I got you, huh? What, is that some kind of take on the 'blind leading the blind' thing?"**

**Speed chuckled. He had missed his friend's odd sense of humor. "Yeah, maybe. I hadn't actually thought of it that way…but, I'm not here to take you on. I've come to help you get back."**

**Eric's smile was quickly replaced by a scowl. "Nah, man. If I'm dead, then let's go on. My dad's here, my grandparents, Marisol. I wanna see my family."**

**Speed looked away, unable to meet his friend's gaze. "I'm sorry, man. I really am, but it's just not possible. You have to go back. The bosses here say you still have work to do in your life."**

**A flash of anger shone fiercely across Eric's handsome features.**

"**Yeah, well what if I'm tired of 'work to do'? What's it gotten me, Speed? An empty house! No family, no kids!"**

"**You help take criminals off the streets; you save lives every time you do that."**

"**For what, huh? We catch one bad guy and ten more take his place. It never ends, man! You died, and it didn't even slow down! I just wanna rest, Speed. I just wanna be with my family and friends. There's nothing for me back there."**

**Speed forced himself to look in Eric's eyes. "And what about the team? They need you. If you're not there, who's Calleigh gonna lean on for support? Who's gonna keep the new guy Wolfe in line?"**

"**They're grown-ups Speed. They can take care themselves. They don't need me." he said quietly.**

**Speed sensed Eric's resolve was weakening, so he decided to pour it on.**

"**And what about H? Even though it wasn't his fault, he blamed himself for months after I died, Eric! You gonna make him go through losing another friend there in his arms? What do you think losing you is gonna do to him, huh? You're closer to him than I ever was! Why do you think he's been by your bedside this whole time?"**

**Eric looked up at his friend. "What?"**

"**Take a look." Speed wave his hand, calling on his new abilities as a guardian angel. The air rippled around it, forming a window into the hospital room where Eric's body lay. Horatio sat there, his thoughts known only to himself, but pain and grief were plainly visible on his tired face.**

**Together they watched as the others came: Alexx, to 'mother' him as she had always done; Ryan, who cried silently for the friend he had come to respect so much; and Calleigh, the woman he loved deep down, as she placed a cross, the symbol of his faith, in his hand.**

**As he watched tears begin to fall from Eric's eyes, Speed walked over next to his friend and placed his hand on his shoulder. "It's time to go back, Eric."**

**Eric turned and hugged Speed tightly, sobbing heavily.**

**He patted Eric's back. "I know buddy, I know." he said breaking the hug. "But I also know that no matter what the challenge, you're equal to it. You were my best friend, Eric, and you're the best CSI I ever worked with." Smiling, Speed pointed his finger at his friend's face. "But you ever tell anybody I said that, and I'll come haunt you!"**

**Eric smiled weakly. "Ok, how do I get back?"**

**Speed waved his hand again and the window expanded to a door. "This way."**

**The two of them stepped through, and into Eric's hospital room. For the moment, no one else was there, although they could see Calleigh out in the hall, talking on her cell phone.**

"**What do I do? How do I get back in my body?" **

"**Just reach out and touch it. You'll be pulled back in."**

"**I'm scared, Speed. That wound looks bad. Am I gonna suffer much?"**

"**Nah, it's a head wound, man. Ain't nothing in there to hurt, remember?"**

**Eric couldn't help but smile. "Even dead you just gotta pick at me, don't you?"**

"**You'd do the same for me."**

**Eric looked in his friend's eyes. "Thanks Speed, for believing in me."**

"**Thank you, Eric, for finally believing in yourself."**

**Eric reached over and touched his body's hand. His soul was pulled back inside, causing a momentary spike on his E.E.G. readings.**

**Speed placed his hand on Eric's forehead. "I'm really sorry, but I have to do this." He closed his eyes, and summoned a tiny amount of power. "Forget." he whispered, as Calleigh walked in the room.**

**He stood there for a moment and watched as Eric regained consciousness; saw light come back into Calleigh's eyes as she spoke to him. Then he turned and left, returning the way he came.**

**He had helped his friend find himself. "Yeah." he thought to himself. "Today was a good day. But I really hope I don't ever have one like it again."**


End file.
